please come you make the beer taste better
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
