how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
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i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
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We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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