why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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