ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
