matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
