erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
