Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
