it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Mom said you looked used
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Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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