how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
