Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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