There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
