I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize