I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
