yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize