Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
