I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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