I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize