I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
