I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
pop tarts are not kleenex
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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