Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize