I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
