the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
