dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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