Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
