like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
