well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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