Kiss
Puke
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
