I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize