Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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