We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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