shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We are two peas in an std pod
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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