My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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