you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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