just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
