If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
