the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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