Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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