Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
