And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
