Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
