Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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