No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
