you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
