Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
