I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
oh god the rape fog is back!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
