Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
