you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
