I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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