the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just high enough for therapy.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
