In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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