Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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