Porn is love you can see.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
