I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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