I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
