Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
