I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
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His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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