KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize