WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
