absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
