So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How does one acquire holy water?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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