Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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