its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
