Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I think a kid would responsible me up
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
