Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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