I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
