eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize