Having a random hookup so left but love u
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says