Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Non-Jews are for practice
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
